I don't mean for this to be...

I don't mean for this to be where I vent and feel sorry for myself but I guess its gonna be sometimes. Today was rough. Actually the past few weeks have been rough. Justin hasn't had much work and I cant find a job leaving us with little to no money. Being that I'm the one who handles the finances I am just a tad stressed out. Many of you know that we were planning on going up to BYU-Provo in January but come to find out today 8 of my classes wont transfer there. I am so sick of school. Only two of my classes transferred her from BYU-Idaho and I have spent the last 3 semesters meeting all of Cal State San Marco's stupid requirements only to realize that they are rejecting thousands of students due to massive budget cuts because out state is dumb and in debt. I just wanna be done with it. So needless to say instead of wasting more time it looks like we will be staying here in good ole temecula. We wanted to go there so bad because we wanted to experience the "college life" and be around other young married people. Its really hard being here most of the time because we are lacking in the married without kids department. We have a lot of great friends that we love but we were just hoping for an adventure. On top of it all I think that I have a major problem. An addiction really...I feel like I am totally out of control when it comes to food. Most of you know that I am doing weight watchers. I did really well the first few weeks losing 9.2 pounds. Then I gained 0.6 and then this past week I gained 2.8...it makes me sick. I feel horrible every time I put something bad in my mouth but I honestly feel like I have no control. My will power is zero. I feel so bad about myself and I want to lose weight so badly but something needs to change. For example tonight we went to a wedding reception. Afterwards we ended up at Justin's parents and on our way home we went through McDonald's. I knew full well that I sure shouldn't eat it but I did anyways. Not to mention we don't have any money as I mentioned before but when it comes to fast food I always spend money I don't have. I think I need counseling. You guys all probably think I'm crazy! I'm sorry I just feel like I'm in a whirlwind right now! My poor husband! Hes a saint for dealing with me!!

All about Justin!!!

1. Where did you meet? We met at a stake dance. I was 14. He was 17. I remember seeing him for the first time and thinking that he was the cutest guy ever! Now when I look back and see pictures of him with his long, dorky hair...jk.

2. How long did you date before you were engaged? Ummm well lets see. We started dating Sept.1. I left for school on the 4th. He visited me for a few days in October and we were engaged Nov 17. Crazy huh? But when you know you know

3. How long until the wedding? It passed a year and 3 months ago today

4.What does he do that surprises you? He is so thoughtful. Last summer when I was in class at night he came and took my car and washed it inside and out and brought it back. When I got in there was a note on the steering wheel that said...I love you so much that I stole your car and cleaned it and washed it...He also always surprises me with a clean apartment when I come home. That means more to me than flowers for sure!! But I must also add that I've come home many times to roses and a card and brownies(my favorite) that he made for me just because. No special occasion.

5. What is your favorite feature of his? I love love love his smile!!

6. What is your favorite quality of his? He is very kind and patient with me. He deals well with my craziness. HAHA!

7. Does he have a nickname for you?nope

8. Does he have a favorite color? Blue

9. What is his favorite food? Fast food. haha. same as me! I turned him on to it when we got married and now I feel totally responsible for his addiction
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10. What is his favorite sport? Hes not a huge fan of sports and he doesn't have a favorite that I know of. I know he hates basketball which stinks for me because I love it!

11. When was your first kiss? Well I've always said that I wouldn't be married right now if I wasn't a little bit forward...About 4 days into being together (mind you I was only home 9 days in between semesters) we walked to a park by his house one night. I could tell he wanted to kiss me but was too shy so I told him he should just walk me back to my car and we could just see what happened. HAHA. Well sure enough when we got there he went in for the kill. He texted me right after I left and said sorry it was so bad. You gotta love a newly returned missionary :D

12. Favorite thing to do as a couple? We love going to the movies, eating out, and raquetball!

13. Do you have any children? Not yet, and hopefully not for a while, I really want to finish school first which is at least another couple years

14. Does he have a hidden talent? He is an amazing juggler :D

15. How old is he?22

16. Who said I love you first? Justin

17. What's his favorite band? I don't think he really has one but he does love all of his German music that I cant understand

18. What do you admire most about him? I admire everything about him.

19. Do you think that he will read this? Nope. He isn't much into the blogging. HAHA

Need to disguise veggies?

Cheese Tortellini with Roasted Butternut Squash Sauce
2 x recipe for Roasted Butternut Squash1/2 cup low-sodium chicken stockkosher salt and freshly ground black pepper2 teaspoons white truffle oil2 x pkts store-bought cheese tortellini3/4 cup toasted walnuts1/4 bunch fresh flat parsley, for garnishpecorino romano shavings, for garnish
Puree squash and onion with chicken stock in a blender until you have a smooth sauce (add more or less chicken stock as required until you have a nice creamy-textured sauce). Pour into a sauce pan and simmer gently – season with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper. In a separate pot, fill with water and bring to a boil. Salt generously then cook tortellini according to manufacturer directions. Strain pasta and add to sauce. Toss well to combine and coat everything. Add white truffle oil and stir. Divide amongst plates and top with toasted walnuts and garnish with parsley sprigs. Using a vegetable peeler top with pecorino romano curls.
Time: 50 minutes; Yield: serves 2-4

Roasted Zucchini Fettuccine
2 x recipe for Roasted Zucchini1 clove garlic, peeled1/4 cup low-sodium chicken stock2-3 sprigs fresh thyme1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oilKosher salt and freshly ground black pepper1 pound fettuccine1/2 cup toasted pinenutsgrated ricotta salad, for garnishfresh basil leaves, for garnish
Make sauce by pureeing roasted zucchini with garlic, fresh thyme, olive oil and chicken stock – use more or less chicken stock until you have a creamy-textured sauce. Cook fettuccine in boiling salted water until al dente. Drain pasta and add to zucchini sauce. Season with salt and pepper. Serve in large pasta bowls and shower with grated ricotta, toasted pinenuts and fresh torn basil leaves. Drizzle with a little more good quality extra-virgin olive oil.
Time: 50 minutes; Yield: serves 4

Cauliflower Mac 'N Cheese
1 x recipe Roasted Cauliflower1 pound elbow macaroni, boiled5 cups shredded sharp white cheddar cheesefreshly ground black pepper2 cups panko bread crumbs4 cloves grated garlic1/4 cup chopped fresh flat leaf parsley1/4 extra-virgin olive oil
Puree cauliflower with 1 cup of whole milk until you have a creamy-textured sauce. Pour in a saucepan over medium heat and add grated cheddar cheese. Stir well until melted then add cooked macaroni elbows. Season with salt and pepper. Pour into a medium-sized gratin dish. In a mixing bowl combine garlic with panko bread crumbs and season with salt and pepper. Fold in parsley and wet with olive oil. Sprinkle evenly over the mac n cheese and bake in a 350 degree oven for 30-25 minutes until cheese is bubbly and top is golden brown.
Time: 30 minutes; Yield: serves 4-6

My Stupid Mouth...

I don't know about the rest of you but it always seems that as soon as I say something I regret it. I feel so stupid all the time not to mention guilty because I absolutley hate to hurt anyones feelings or offend them. Tonight was one of those times. I wont share what I said because its not really important but I just want to see if im the only idiot or if theres others out there just like me. I wish sometimes I would just keep my mouth shut!

ZUMBA!!!!

I belong to 24 hour fitness and this morning I went with my mother in law and a few other ladies from her ward to this class called Zumba!!!! It was soooo much fun! Its a bunch of dance moves with Latin music. I learned like I definitely cannot dance!!! haha. But what a great work out. One of the ladies who was with us was wearing a watch that said we burned 550 calories in the hour. Its every Monday morning and Friday night and believe I'm gonna be at every one now! Check your gym to see if they have it! Its sooo much fun.

The Today Show did a story on it a couple of years ago. Check it out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5Hxw_Jf2B4&feature=related

Bathing Suits!!

So Justin and I are supposed to go with his family to Laughlin on July 13th. For those of you who have ever seen my mother and father in law that are pretty darn hot. Your not supposed to be in your fifties and look that good. Since last year Joyce looked way hotter in her bathing suit then I did I am setting a goal to lose 20 pounds by July 13th. I've already lost 8.6 or whatever it is so I should be able to reach my goal. Hopefully I'll lose even more. As incentive I decided that there are two bathing suits from down east basics that I will allow myself to get if I reach my goal!!!!

With weight loss comes...

With weight loss comes failures. I am more than willing to share my failures with you as well as my successes. We live in the real world. Life gets in the way of eating healthy. There are birthday parties, and baseball games. There are dates with the hubby and dessert with the in laws. This past week included all of the above. It was just overall a pretty bad week for me when it came to eating. Today marks the beginning of my fifth week at weight watchers. I have to say I'm just proud of myself for making it this far. I went in this morning knowing that I would have gained weight. I though it would have been like 2 or 3 pounds but luckily it was only 0.6 pounds. That's not even a whole pound. I know weight gain period is never fun but I'd rather only be 0.6 up than gain back the now 8.6 I've lost so far. Today begins a new week and I am fully prepared to get back on track!!!

Angels and Demons

Justin and I went to see Angels and Demons tonight. Unfortunately I just read the book a couple of weeks ago so it was still fresh in my mind. Movies are just never ever as good as the book nor will they ever be! I love to read and there is just something more you can do with your imagination than they can do on the screen. It was still good and Justin liked it but...

Another 2 Pounds!!!!

I went into weight watchers again this morning and I've lost another 2 pounds which brings my total weight loss to 9.2 pounds in three weeks. I'm very excited. That's almost 10 pounds with only 35 more to go :D I absolutely have grown to love weight watchers. I think it is such a great program because I honestly don't feel like I'm dieting. I feel like I'm being healthy. You eat real food. I reached my 5% goal today so in our meeting I got recognized and she asked me how I was doing it. I said that I had given up coke and fast food. I am a recovering addict! I think with having an addictive personality however I have now become addicted to something else of course...GOLDEN SPOON!!!! O how i love it. You can have a mini for 1 point and a small for 3 points. It is the best thing in the world. I go practically every night. Unfortunately Justin doesn't like it all that much so i go with my mom whose also an addict. Gotta love her. Well everyone wish me luck as I continue this journey!! Love you all !

A little goes a long way...

I went to my second weight watchers weigh in today. I lost 1.4 pounds. A lot less than my 5.8 last week but hey weight lost is weight lost. That brought me to a total of 7.2 pounds lost so far. I'm way excited! This week will be even better!!