Saturday, May 30, 2009
I don't mean for this to be...
I don't mean for this to be where I vent and feel sorry for myself but I guess its gonna be sometimes. Today was rough. Actually the past few weeks have been rough. Justin hasn't had much work and I cant find a job leaving us with little to no money. Being that I'm the one who handles the finances I am just a tad stressed out. Many of you know that we were planning on going up to BYU-Provo in January but come to find out today 8 of my classes wont transfer there. I am so sick of school. Only two of my classes transferred her from BYU-Idaho and I have spent the last 3 semesters meeting all of Cal State San Marco's stupid requirements only to realize that they are rejecting thousands of students due to massive budget cuts because out state is dumb and in debt. I just wanna be done with it. So needless to say instead of wasting more time it looks like we will be staying here in good ole temecula. We wanted to go there so bad because we wanted to experience the "college life" and be around other young married people. Its really hard being here most of the time because we are lacking in the married without kids department. We have a lot of great friends that we love but we were just hoping for an adventure. On top of it all I think that I have a major problem. An addiction really...I feel like I am totally out of control when it comes to food. Most of you know that I am doing weight watchers. I did really well the first few weeks losing 9.2 pounds. Then I gained 0.6 and then this past week I gained 2.8...it makes me sick. I feel horrible every time I put something bad in my mouth but I honestly feel like I have no control. My will power is zero. I feel so bad about myself and I want to lose weight so badly but something needs to change. For example tonight we went to a wedding reception. Afterwards we ended up at Justin's parents and on our way home we went through McDonald's. I knew full well that I sure shouldn't eat it but I did anyways. Not to mention we don't have any money as I mentioned before but when it comes to fast food I always spend money I don't have. I think I need counseling. You guys all probably think I'm crazy! I'm sorry I just feel like I'm in a whirlwind right now! My poor husband! Hes a saint for dealing with me!!
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Come up here! Did you look into UVU and if any of your credits transfer there? That's where I go and I really enjoy it! Seriously...come up here! We really love it a lot and we have so much fun. We've made so many friends that are in the same boat as us....newly married, maybe a kid or two and struggling students. If you ever want to come check it out up here, you're more than welcome to come stay with us for a while! We'd love to spend time with you!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're a . . . . drum roll. . .woman! Don't be too hard on yourself - food is way of self medicating and is common in woman. The trick is to replace the food with something else - not just taking the food away. You could do what I'm doing for our next baby and not eat wheat, milk, eggs and nuts! The weight just falls off. . .of course, you're hungry the whole time. Darn allergies!
ReplyDeleteTry UVSC. . .what't the new name? UVU? Anyway - they accept a lot more transfer credits than church schools. YOu will qualify for pell grants. Let me know if you need help with grants - I am the pro! Good luck with everything. I hear ya about the married with no kids. My profession kept me busy, but when I had Mae, stopped working and she couldn't "play" with anyone, I went through a real funk that was hard to get out of. It's lonely! We're always just down the street if you want to walk! Tara and I like to go around 9a.m. if you are interested!
Keep your chin up, girl!
Too bad about not being able to transfer to BYU. But things do happen for a reason.
ReplyDeleteI eat too much and most often when I am bored. I found an article in the April Ensign that helped me out "Think about what you are thinking about". Then make a goal for yourself that is smaller. Like I want to loose 5 pounds by a certain date. Be realistic and take it slow. Just concentrate on the 5 pounds instead of the whole amount that you want to loose. I think it is easier.
You are a beautiful woman and fun to be around. Think of the great qualities that you have and don't stress over the things you don't like about yourself. If you made a list of your good qualities the list would be huge. Focus on those and it may help you feel better about yourself.
Thanks guys! It means a lot to me! As for UVU its way too expensive because its out of state. Shauna, we may just come up to just visit. We would love to see you guys! Emily, i would love to walk with you and tara when I can and I might take you up on help with grants for Cal State San Marcos. Judy, thank you so much for the advice and I will definitley look up that ensign article!
ReplyDeleteCasey,
ReplyDeleteI am so sad that you are so had on yourself (I am also). I agree with what Emily said, you are just a woman! When you look close at the rest of us, we're all pretty much the same. We all think that we are poor, fat, ugly, lazy, our house is a wreck... etc. But, everyone is right, you are beautiful! I have had a hard time since being married with the weight thing and school also. It's hard to juggle everything, because when you are single you are supposed to only thin about yourself and there is not as much stress as when you are married. BUT... there is also a LOT more joy when you are married that comes with the stress. Justin loves you and thinks you are beautiful, he probably doesn't even notice the extra pounds. Just make small, realistic, healthy goals and it will come off with time and a good attitude. I'm in the same boat woman! Hang in there! Love, Hannah
Am I a little selfish for being a little excited that you aren't going to Provo? Okay.. I'm sad for you because I know you really wanted to go, but were sad when you told us you were leaving!! That really is stupid though about the classes not transferring. Totally typical BYU gimmicks...
ReplyDelete